How I Piss Off My Parents

I had a sip of something.

Or a few sips actually.

Anyways, I was a little fuzzy and feeling argumentative. Being the (sometimes) Liberal bitch that I am, I decided to go on the prowl. There is nothing I enjoy more than seeing a post I disagree with on Facebook (or any Facebook post that deserves a good push in the opposite direction) and writing a little remark that may either pose an argument or allow others to offer their two cents.
I saw one and with a laugh, posted something that I knew would just rustle the feathers of my friend who had posted unknowingly something that my parents would flip over.

The next morning over coffee on the sofa, I told my parents of my amazing shit-starting feat. “So Kay,” I started, sipping the sweetened caffeine, “wrote on Facebook last night the pledge of allegiance but put, ‘one nation under God’ in caps.”
My dad is a very conservative man whose father came over on a boat from Denmark. There’s a massive Bald Eagle tattoo’d on his back. He lit every (not at the time) illegal firework in our backyard on the 4th of July. He has a mustache. There isn’t much that can define an American but-gosh dangit!-he is one. Also, he’s Christian in terms of religion, I think (I don’t keep too many tabs).
Anyways, my father in response stared and I continued, “So I,” I laughed, “I asked ‘As a country that supports freedom of religion, don’t you think that Americans have the right to pledge allegiance to polytheism?’ She was soo mad!” I laughed again, setting down my mug.

I had never seen my dad’s mouth drop so low in my life.
My mom joined in with him not two seconds later.
I grinned.
Needless to say, there was a stern talking to that night. The lesson learned? Don’t be so liberal kids. And watch what you tell your parents of what you post on Facebook.
It’s not always their business.